


in dreams i will save you

by lonelyghosts



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Childhood Trauma, F/F, Isolation, Lesbian Elsa (Disney)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:07:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21621973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelyghosts/pseuds/lonelyghosts
Summary: What would she tell her younger self, now, that would save her?
Relationships: Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 125





	in dreams i will save you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sapphfics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphfics/gifts).



> for the original lesbian elsa promoter, sapphire!

These days, Elsa is happy. 

It's funny, because she never thought she'd get to this point. 

Her parents kept her hidden, and she loved them, she did- how could she not? They wanted to protect her. They wanted to protect _Anna_. And god, she wanted to protect Anna too; it was one of the only things that kept her going through the loneliness of a decade spent alone, that and the idea that her parents might be proud of her someday. They would marry her to some faraway foreign kingdom and Anna would be their heiress, and she would be out of sight and mind.

She was the monster, always. They built her a cage, a cell that she was eventually relegated to when Hans shut her in. She was the villainess. She was repressing every part of herself for the sake of her parents. And she loved them, and she was entirely resigned to being their monster, or their martyr.

She never expected to be happy. 

Even her daydreams involved some form of solitude, of sacrifice, of giving some part of herself up for someone else. The dull drudge of marrying a prince she knew she could never love but did not know why, the brief bright bloom of her life as she sacrificed herself for her family; some form of hurt. Unconditional happiness was never in the cards.

And yet-

These days, the Northuldran people are her people, in the way that the Arendelliens never were. She is at home here, at peace, with a woman who loves her and thinks her powers are amazing and beautiful, instead of a curse. With a _woman_ who loves her. In Arendelle she never could have been at peace, not with the ache of knowledge that her love for another woman would never be truly accepted, as queen. The people accept her as the sister of the queen, but she would have been forced to marry a man eventually as their ruler. She is happy.

She wonders what she would tell her younger self. Even only a year ago, she was hurting. She was in such pain she didn't know how to say it, was lying awake at night wondering how to say it, how to admit it to herself. What would she say to the woman who thought she had everything she was allowed to want but hurt and broke and wandered lonely and silent through her days regardless?

Or a decade ago- what would she say to the little girl who had no words for loneliness? All she had back then was the yearning, the wanting, the dictionaries that gave words but could never fully describe how much she wanted to be good enough. Who wanted to protect her baby sister more than anything else. The little girl who cried and sniffled and did what her parents told her because she just wanted them to call her their perfect little daughter again.

She wonders what she would tell them, how she would save them. 

And then she looks at Honeymaren, and the life they've built, and she knows: words are not necessary. The sight of all this is enough. 

**Author's Note:**

> ugh im very tired and i saw this movie a day ago but i love elsa So much and i want her to be happy with her girlfriend honeymaren. so here you go


End file.
